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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
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Last
Linking Words
 decades we have shown an increasing
growing
Replace the word
growth
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in communication applications which are mainly used over the internet. The usage of these applications,
such
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 as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, ...and etc,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 much
closely
Replace the word
closer
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around the world, in ,contrast
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 separated .
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and introduce my point of view. On the one hand, the existence of the internet in our
lives
Use synonyms
 ,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 easily exchange their
news
Use synonyms
 around the world.
For example
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 , if one has a special occasion, he can
share
Use synonyms
 his party with his family and his friend even if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live in
Add an article
a
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different country.
Thus
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 , it is clear how the internet has made
people
Use synonyms
 feel close together.
on the other hand
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 , it is
popularly
Change the word
popular
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
share
Use synonyms
 their
news
Use synonyms
 , their special parties, and their interests with other
people
Use synonyms
 who live away and who do not have any relation with them, but at the same ,time they tend to keep themselves away from their neighbours or their
relatives
Use synonyms
 .
In other words
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 , they isolate themselves locally, ,
however
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Add a comma
,
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they do not mind sharing
Verb problem
apply
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share
Use synonyms
 their
news
Use synonyms
 with anyone who
are
Change the verb form
is
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outside their countries, cities, and towns. I expect that because they do not want to allow
anyone
Correct your spelling
any
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 of their
relatives
Use synonyms
 to interfere in their
lives
Use synonyms
 , since the others can not affect their
lives
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 because they are already outside their home town. In my opinion, I totally agree with both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of view , and
that is
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 because I have noticed that most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to hide their private
lives
Use synonyms
 from their
relatives
Use synonyms
 or their friends to protect their privacy. so most of the time, they keep themselves away from their neighbourhood,
relatives
Use synonyms
 and friends. They,
for instance
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 , virtually
share
Use synonyms
 their updates with their family who live far away, but they do not prefer to
share
Use synonyms
 the same updates with their close family, neighbours, or friends in real life. so the
people
Use synonyms
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live
part
Correct your spelling
far
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 away feel they are close when they exchange their updates , in ,contrast the close
people
Use synonyms
 feel isolated from each other when they do not take part in
relatives
Use synonyms
 ' events in real life.
to conclude
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, sometimes, we can not understand why
people
Use synonyms
 prefer sharing their
news
Use synonyms
 with those who are living away from them, but they absolutely do not like sharing the same
news
Use synonyms
 with other
people
Use synonyms
 who are close to them, and they tend to isolate themselves
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
.
Submitted by f.saraireh on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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