Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

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Last
decades we have shown an increasing
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
in communication applications which are mainly used over the internet. The usage of these applications,
such
as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, ...and etc,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
some
people
much
closely
Replace the word
closer
show examples
around the world, in ,contrast
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
other
people
separated .
this
essay will discuss both sides and introduce my point of view. On the one hand, the existence of the internet in our
lives
,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
easily exchange their
news
around the world.
For example
, if one has a special occasion, he can
share
his party with his family and his friend even if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live in
Add an article
a
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different country.
Thus
, it is clear how the internet has made
people
feel close together.
on the other hand
, it is
popularly
Change the word
popular
show examples
that
people
tend to
share
their
news
, their special parties, and their interests with other
people
who live away and who do not have any relation with them, but at the same ,time they tend to keep themselves away from their neighbours or their
relatives
.
In other words
, they isolate themselves locally, ,
however
Add a comma
,
show examples
they do not mind sharing
Verb problem
apply
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share
their
news
with anyone who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
outside their countries, cities, and towns. I expect that because they do not want to allow
anyone
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
of their
relatives
to interfere in their
lives
, since the others can not affect their
lives
because they are already outside their home town. In my opinion, I totally agree with both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view , and
that is
because I have noticed that most
people
tend to hide their private
lives
from their
relatives
or their friends to protect their privacy. so most of the time, they keep themselves away from their neighbourhood,
relatives
and friends. They,
for instance
, virtually
share
their updates with their family who live far away, but they do not prefer to
share
the same updates with their close family, neighbours, or friends in real life. so the
people
who
are
Verb problem
apply
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live
part
Correct your spelling
far
show examples
away feel they are close when they exchange their updates , in ,contrast the close
people
feel isolated from each other when they do not take part in
relatives
' events in real life.
to conclude
, sometimes, we can not understand why
people
prefer sharing their
news
with those who are living away from them, but they absolutely do not like sharing the same
news
with other
people
who are close to them, and they tend to isolate themselves
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
.
Submitted by f.saraireh on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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