IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

As part of education, students should spend a period of time studying and living in a different country to learn a different language and culture. Do you agree or disagree?

#part #education #students #period #time #country #language #culture
As
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the rapidly
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of the internet and transportation systems,
students
 can access more information about other
countries
 and visit or live over there. Obviously, they will have more choices and can experience more in their lives. I think it is worth
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living and studying in a foreign country for every student.
First
 of all, different
countries
 have completely different cultures and lifestyles, people can learn from the differences and improve their lives.
For example
, citizens in oriental
countries
 have busier timetables, most of them have to use the 996 work schedule. They think life is too short and should do more to get more opportunities. But in western
countries
, people consider more about their life qualities, they travel more and relax more.
Students
 living or learning in different
countries
 can have a better understanding of the world and can make more suitable decisions in the future. About the education, learning a
secondary
Replace the word
second
show examples
 language in the native speaking country is much more effective.
Students
 can have more opportunities to communicate with some native speakers and even live together with them. Apart from language, learning other subjects like engineer or science in developed
countries
 are better.
For example
 in some western
countries
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have open and perfect academic systems. Most universities have sufficient foundations and infrastructures to supply their
students
 and teachers. What is more, we can make friends and create more connections while living or learning in different
countries
. Both can magnify
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 impacts of our works and contributions. We can broaden our life horizons to help each other and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 ourselves. In conclusion, I agree that
students
 should spend a period of time studying and living in a different country. It is helpful to improve themselves since they can experience more and learn language more effective.
Submitted by huangjiancong863 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: