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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favor.

In many countries, smoking tobacco in public places is forbidden by the law while other countries have no purpose of doing it.
However
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 it is against human rights, it
also
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 affects others'
health
Use synonyms
 in a negative way and can be the cause of increasing serious diseases. We will discuss both sides of the topic. On the one hand, countries
where have allowed indoor smoking in bars and restaurants
Add the comma(s)
, where have allowed indoor smoking in bars and restaurants,
show examples
 made their decision on local places. It is important for governments to hear and state other’s opinions to make law. They cannot make their decision against human rights.
Thus
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 majorities' points of view play a major role in decisions to make for the public.
Good
Add an article
A good
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 example of
this
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 is Florida where smoking-free,
however
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, bars and restaurants still allow smoking.
On the other hand
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, states have banned smoking where they claim that smoking indoors can be harmful to the
health
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
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 those who are surrounded
by
Correct pronoun usage
itby
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. It is quite a serious issue of public
health
Use synonyms
 as well. It leads to
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
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 risk of public heart disease, cancer and
damaging
Correct article usage
a damaging
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 impact on
lungs
Correct article usage
the lungs
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. Especially the almost 100 million Americans who are suffering chronic conditions
such
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 as asthma and bronchitis because they smoke permanently everywhere and
everytime
Replace the word
every time
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. In conclusion, banning smoking can help improve the
health
Use synonyms
 of the general population.
As a result
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 of the improvement, hospital overwork can be reduced in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
 of smoking in public places can make it easier for people who have the intention to quit and prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
future diseases.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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