The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from the school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#education #school

Nowadays, in everyone’s life,

education

has become crucially important as it teaches everything required for

modern

Add an article

a modern

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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to live contentedly. Some people think that the

education

which has been taught by teachers in

school

is more important than receiving

education

from family. In

this

point of view, I agree with the statement and in

this

essay, I will explain my opinion with supporting examples. The main obstacle would appear to be that the

education

from

school

is more systematic and deep. What I demonstrate by

this

is that teachers exactly know what they are teaching to students. Not only, the information they receive from

school

have

definite

Correct article usage

a definite

show examples

structure but

also

, it is well proven.

For example

, high

school

students will be taught

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

math not the basic level.

Additionally

, children will be offered social experiences by

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

. Meaning that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there

are

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a wide range of external activities. By

this

, they will learn moral values

such

as tolerance and sharing.

Moreover

, they will be certified when they graduate. Definitely,

this

might help them to choose what to become when they grow up. These would in turn give a springboard to their future achievements and wider success. Admittedly, I agree with those who argue that the

education

from family is more important compared to that of from schools. Due to the

fact

Add a comma

,fact

show examples

parents can respond to what their children need and how they learn best.

For example

, due to my parents know that my brother loves Naruto, they bought him a comic book which is about Naruto as a spelling book, now he is excelled in reading.

However

, most parents may not have the necessary knowledge or resources. To summarize, a mix of teaching from

school

and family would be the finest way.

Submitted by alexstudyin on Fri Jul 02 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings
investing
tax obligations
retirement planning
loans
credit
interest rates
crowded curricula
traditional academic subjects
real-life experiences
parental guidance
practical
intellectually rigorous
school syllabus
gig economy
income-streams
challenging
trained teachers
specialized field

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The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from the school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

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