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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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A set of workers have to retire at 65 to receive a pension and withdrawal benefits,
although
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 the extremity of their positions is discriminatory.
Firstly
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, I believe that people who work in construction, mining, warehouses etc., need a lot of physical strength and stamina to do their job effectively. Usually, our health starts to deteriorate over the age of 50 years.
Secondly
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, many industries; like information technology, stock exchange, research and development etc., necessitate innovations and utmost care. Researches have been proved that people over 40 years are prone to have many lifestyle diseases, which could indirectly impact their work efficiency. To conclude, in my opinion, the government has to develop a new law which would favour the early retirement of workers who are in exceedingly physically or mentally demanding jobs. I hope the retirement age for said jobs could be 50 years.
Submitted by mail2sooraj on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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