some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #influence #behavior

Nowadays, television has a great impact on kid's behaviour. Some parents are not fully aware of what children's are watching and how they are affected by

this

. For

this

reason, I totally agree that social media and other factors contribute to violence and increase vulgar language used by teens recently.

This

essay will show some examples of these problems.

First

, children in the early stages give attention to the colourful programs they are watching regardless of the material showed .

For example

, some cartoons reveal action scenes in a comedy way that makes the child laugh and want to try it in his real life .

As a result

,it may lead to unexpected injuries and life-threatening .According to these problems, I believe that we should review all materials introduced to our kids' especially toddlers before letting them watch these scenes.

Additionally

, we face another serious issue with Facebook live broadcast.

This

kind of videos is out of control.

For instance

, many teenagers suffer from mental problems when they watch people committing suicide live because they are depressed .

Moreover

,recent psychological studies concerned with teens behaviour in the USA showed that 67% of teens are ready to die in the same way affected by what are they watching when they suffer from altered mood.

Also

,we should enhance teenagers' self-awareness to let them judge and evaluate what they are watching to avoid more violence and bad reactions. In conclusion, I believe violence has been increasing due to these uncensored materials.

In addition

,people bad behaviour raised due to these videos.

Therefore

,the government should find a solution to stop these shows.

Also

, parents should monitor their kids' reactions and attitudes after watching or playing games include fighting scenes.

Submitted by ayaezz54 on Sat Jul 03 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health

In many countries children are engaged in some kid of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong,while other consider it as valuabl work .what is your opinion?

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open area of towns and cities than to bulid more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.