Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

Nowadays, it is the fact that youths are essential national resources,
thus
the ways to use for developing kids’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
are crucial. Many
claim
Change to a plural noun
claims
show examples
that using corporeal violence to educate children is decent.
However
, others point out that it is totally offensive.
This
essay elaborates both perspectives in greater depth
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, using physical force can yield up children’s discipline in various fields. Because of its function, kids will bear in mind that what they should avoid so as not to be punished. To elaborate, some bad manners like rude, rowdy or sluggish can be coped with using some concrete strength. Some great example is found in various old Thai’s educational systems which had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
thought that the more hitting students get, the better habits students gain.
On the other hand
, the aforementioned method dealing with adolescent’s awful actions can make many negative feedbacks. They will have
fully
Add an article
a fully
the fully
show examples
bad
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
in their brain which is power and force can control everything in their life. Not only invalid thinking they will get, but
also
a lot of wounds happened. There are still many ways for modifying and correcting the poor styles in each kid as giving them the right perspective, talking with proper reason, being the role models and so on. The following processes can
also
increase positive attitudes in their minds. In conclusion,
this
essay demonstrates both views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
to support or resist
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using violence to improve minors’ actions.
Although
enforcement can force some bad manners, it leaves many terrible results regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the use of cruelty.
Therefore
, using other strategies associated with reason is a better choice to adjust children’s
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
.
Submitted by inw.writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: