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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

#people #force #discipline #children
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Nowadays, it is the fact that youths are essential national resources,
thus
 the ways to use for developing kids’
behaviors
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behaviours
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are crucial. Many
claim
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claims
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 that using corporeal violence to educate children is decent.
However
, others point out that it is totally offensive.
This
 essay elaborates both perspectives in greater depth
,
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 before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, using physical force can yield up children’s discipline in various fields. Because of its function, kids will bear in mind that what they should avoid so as not to be punished. To elaborate, some bad manners like rude, rowdy or sluggish can be coped with using some concrete strength. Some great example is found in various old Thai’s educational systems which had
a
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thought that the more hitting students get, the better habits students gain.
On the other hand
, the aforementioned method dealing with adolescent’s awful actions can make many negative feedbacks. They will have
fully
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a fully
the fully
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 bad
concept
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concepts
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 in their brain which is power and force can control everything in their life. Not only invalid thinking they will get, but
also
 a lot of wounds happened. There are still many ways for modifying and correcting the poor styles in each kid as giving them the right perspective, talking with proper reason, being the role models and so on. The following processes can
also
 increase positive attitudes in their minds. In conclusion,
this
 essay demonstrates both views
whether
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on whether
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 to support or resist
of
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apply
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using violence to improve minors’ actions.
Although
 enforcement can force some bad manners, it leaves many terrible results regarding
to
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the use of cruelty.
Therefore
, using other strategies associated with reason is a better choice to adjust children’s
opinion
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opinions
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.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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