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Band 4.5

Many people believe that living a city life offers greater benefits as compared to the country side? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #city #life #country #side
Nowadays ,
people
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 depend upon where they live. So,
every one
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everyone
show examples
want
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wants
show examples
 to live in
standard
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a standard
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area
 which
include
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includes
show examples
 good
facility
 as well as
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for them. But, some
people
 claim that
,
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apply
show examples
 living in metropolis gives many advantages as
compare
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compared
show examples
 to living in
village
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the village
a village
show examples
.
To begin
 with, staying in citified life causes many advantages. Like in
city
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the city
show examples
 every
facility
 is available just hospital, bank, high standard schools etc.
contraversaly
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controversially
, in rural
area
 advanced hospital
facility
 not available.
Then
on
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in
show examples
 emergency
people
 have to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 and it takes some time.
For example
, if pregnant women have to
do
Correct your spelling
doc
show examples
c-section
Correct article usage
a c-section
show examples
 so,
facility
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the facility
show examples
 is available in
city
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the city
show examples
area
 only
then
 they go to
city
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the city
a city
show examples
 and it has
minimum
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a minimum
show examples
30
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of 30
show examples
minute
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minutes
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 time.
Secondly
, internet
facility
 with high speed is in working in
civil
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the civil
show examples
area
 as
compaired
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compared
 to
rural
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a rural
the rural
show examples
area
. Because in
civil
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the civil
a civil
show examples
area
 many towers are there and all are in working position. But, in rural
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areas
show examples
area
Add a comma
,area
show examples
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 internet is not working.
For instance
, in
covid
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the covid
show examples
 -19 lockdown situation
student
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students
show examples
 have to join online classes but, due to poor internet
speed
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,speed
show examples
 they can’t attempt their classes.
Thirdly
, transport
facility
 is convenient in
city
 place because
,
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apply
show examples
 nowadays in some rural
area
 there is road problem
as well as transport issue
Add the comma(s)
, as well as transport issue,
show examples
 is present.
For example
, in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 PMT, as well as
metro
Add an article
the metro
show examples
 is
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 and fast transport
facility
 available.
For example
, in
metro
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the metro
show examples
city
 we can
purches
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purchase
 branded
cloths
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clothes
show examples
 anywhere but, in
Add an article
the village
show examples
village
Add a comma
,village
show examples
 we don’t see the branded shop. Because the population of countryside
area
 is very less.
Lastly
, in my opinion, “every coin has two sides”, but living in
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
 or village is totally depend on
people
 preference and
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
. Because every human being
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own priority so they have to decide and stay there where they
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their need.
Submitted by padmajakulkarni140 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • amenities
  • congestion
  • rural
  • serenity
  • sustainable living
  • commute
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • tranquility
  • pros and cons
  • lifestyle
  • work-life balance
  • wellbeing
What to do next:
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