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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Physical education should be part of school programs. Agree or Disagree?

Nowadays, people have rather? opposing views about whether physical
education
Use synonyms
 must be included in
school
Use synonyms
 programs or not. While excluding physical
education
Use synonyms
 from
school
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subjects
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 can have its own benefits, I personally believe that having
such
Linking Words
an
Remove the article
apply
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education
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 can have
great
Add an article
a great
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 outcome. On the one hand, some people claim that schools should not have physical
education
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 in their programs. They suggest that it is better
register
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to register
show examples
 their children in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 clubs. Some parent
prefer
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prefers
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 to take their children to professional clubs which have all the facilities which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 needed. They believe that schools are not well equipped for
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
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purposes
Correct the article-noun agreement
purpose
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.
In addition
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, investing
on
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in
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 other
subjects
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 can be more important. There are
Add an article
a parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 who
believe
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believes
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 that it is schools are better to invest
on
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apply
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in scientific
subjects
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 rather than physical
education
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. They think when their children are educated enough to have their own income, they can choose any kind of sports they like.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think embedding physical
education
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 in
school
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’s schedules
are
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is
show examples
Correct your spelling
very
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ver
Correct your spelling
very
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 beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
, students need to have their brain freshened, among so many theoretical
subjects
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 when they study. so it helps them to keep studying better.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can discover many talents in their early ages. There are many athletes which were discovered in their teen ages so they chose the path of professional sport over
at
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apply
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studying and became much more successful in their lives. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
to skip
Change the verb form
skipping
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 physical
education
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 are beneficial, I think having it as a fixed subject
in
Add a hyphen
in-school
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school
Use synonyms
 programs are better because it can discover young talents and freshen up
student’s
Correct article usage
a student’s
show examples
 brain.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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