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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is most suitable. what are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

#people #children #city #life #countryside #places
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Nowadays parents have started to give Prime importance to the way they are raising their
decendants
Correct your spelling
descendants
 in order to give them a better tomorrow.
However
Linking Words
, society has different opinions on where a child should be raised. Few people believe that kids who brought up in cities will have
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
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 quality of
life
Use synonyms
 whereas others opine that
life
Use synonyms
 will be much better in the countryside.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to discuss the positives and negatives of both sides. Even in
this
Linking Words
 21st century-the era of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern technologies, people want to raise their children in the village as they have some reasonable grounds. As a person who is born and brought up in a
village
Add a comma
,village
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 I am clearly aware of the advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
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, the countryside is blessed with eye-catching greenery  compared to the concrete jungles in the City.
Additionally
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, people in
rural
Add an article
the rural
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region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
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 are least bothered about pollution and traffic blocks which contribute to the healthy development of children as they are free from deadly diseases due to pollutants and ear-aching noises from the vehicles.
Furthermore
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,youngsters who are being raised in the countryside will tend to have a great piece of knowledge on tradition and culture and will
also
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 be a master when it comes to maintaining the warmth of relationship. While considering the
life
Use synonyms
 in cities it
also
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 has many positive aspects
such
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 as easy access to any place nearby with the help of widespread  transport facilities and has more to offer when it comes to advanced health-care facilities.
For example
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, even if the child is caught by any deadly disease the sophisticated health care system in the towns has every treatment to offer in order to save the child's
life
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. At the same time, towns are considered the education hub and it helps in the better education of the children who
lives
Change the verb form
live
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 there with higher career opportunities. As every story has two sides, both these places have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own negatives too. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 village
life
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 lacks advancement in the field of technology, health and education.
On the other hand
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, city
life
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 has to offer more pollution diseases and decreased sense of belonging To conclude, even though both the places have pros and cons the pros outweigh the cons and it is the onus of the parents to help their kids to be a better human being despite where he or she has brought up
Submitted by roshnasav24 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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