Nowadays, there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has cause more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

#opportunities #women #people #situation

It is sometimes argued that these days,

women

have more chances than they were in the old days and these changes have caused more predicaments than it has resolved. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

view.

Firstly

, significant opportunities in a variety of fields are provided to females. Back in the day,

women

had to face prejudice and

discriminations

Fix the agreement mistake

discrimination

show examples

and followed a harsh standard . A classic example can be in some provinces of China, young teenage girls were used to being forced by their families to get married to other male adults.

In contrast

, due to the globalization of the world, there are now numerous organizations to protect

womens’

Correct your spelling

women's

show examples

rights. They have their own chances to be fully educated and treated impartially.

For example

, there are blind recruitment methods which

means

Change the verb form

mean

show examples

companiescan

Correct your spelling

companies can

not know the candidates’ genders.

This

will eliminate gender bias. Apart from the practical opinions expressed above, I

also

believe that these indispensable chances in numerous fields for

women

leads to the modified structure of the society. Nowadays, education has made

women

independent and empowered. They can do different occupations without being discriminated against.

For instance

, there are female firefighters which were considered to be ‘male jobs’ in the past.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

women

are starting to participate in political meetings in government,

although

there are struggles.

For example

, Theresa May was

Correct article usage

the

show examples

Prime Minister of the UK. Not only did she ensure

women

’s rights, but

also

enhanced females' distinctive voices. In conclusion, I believe that providing opportunities to

women

to advance their rights has a positive impact on society and

this

should not be stopped in the future.

Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on Mon Jul 05 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
social justice
economic development
innovation
traditional family roles
shared responsibilities
diverse perspectives
creativity
decision-making
educational opportunities
work-life balance
traditionalists
societal friction
gender roles

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Nowadays, there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has cause more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, children start school at the age of four, while in other countries they start at seven. What is the ideal age for a child to begin formal education?

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, people work in more than one job , and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and diadvantages of this ?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.