IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that education is very important for young people as careers for their lives.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 were trying to
work
Use synonyms
 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 they studied that can cause
stress
Use synonyms
 and can get less
time
Use synonyms
 for education. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 trend and suggest possible ways to avoid
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 causes. There are two main results of working while studying
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
Add an article
a stressful
the stressful
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
 and insufficient
time
Use synonyms
 for learning.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 must
work
Use synonyms
 under
pressure
Use synonyms
 as they don’t have much experience and even cannot cope with some problems in workplaces.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 must assure their employers that they can manage their
work
Use synonyms
 schedules by doing overtime which makes them lacking
time
Use synonyms
 for study. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 must sacrifice holidays by working and to show that they are serious about
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
. That’s why having
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 schedule and studying
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will inevitably
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 hardship to get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to learn and distressful.
However
Linking Words
, some possible solutions are making
time
Use synonyms
 management and doing activities to control
stress
Use synonyms
. Planning schedules to be balanced for
work
Use synonyms
 and education can get enough
time
Use synonyms
 for study to get qualification and
work
Use synonyms
 without
pressure
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, doing exercise regularly is good to reduce
pressure
Use synonyms
 as physical exercise is an effective
stress
Use synonyms
 reliever
Thus
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can solve to get enough
time
Use synonyms
 and get rid of
stress
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
, working at the same
time
Use synonyms
 studying has lead to lack of
time
Use synonyms
 for schooling and getting
pressure
Use synonyms
, it
cab
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
be solving
show examples
 making
tidy
Add an article
a tidy
the tidy
show examples
 schedule and taking
time
Use synonyms
 for personal’s activities.
Submitted by sandarmyint740 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: