IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
Currently, there is a contentious argument over whether
offence
Add an article
an offence
the offence
show examples
 has been grown up over the world. It is considered by some people that there are enormous reasons behind the criminatory, while there are others who believe
for
Change preposition
in
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 many solutions to avoid spreading crime in coming years.
In the
Change preposition
The
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 following paragraphs discuss the causes and reach reasonable solutions.
Firstly
, many people believe that offence play avital negative role in the community, and it is going to grow up more and more for
next
 decade. One of the most impermanent reasons are luck of education in under development counites which support uneducated citizen to go through many different crimes. To clarify more, the poor families have no choice to choose their lifestyle and it can be a noticeable reason to carry a lot in their typical lives.
Secondly
, watching violent movies and spending free
time
 can harm
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and encourage youngsters to practice what they have seen
in
Change preposition
on
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 TV,
Moreover
, free
time
 creates issues and spend more
time
 with bad friends.
For instance
, young people adore copying their friend’s
behavior
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behaviour
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 practically
if
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as if
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 there were in teenage age.
On the other hand
, many approaches for solutions can be solved by the fundamental role
by
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of
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
For example
, apply effective strategies to encourage children to go to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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,
also
, create jobs for teenagers as
part
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part-time
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time
 for keeping their
time
 busy with more
benefit
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beneficial
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 attitude to them.
furthermore
, parents have their role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to direct and control their offspring to the type of movies should they watched. In conclusion, we can see that, as the offence has increased overseas over
Correct your spelling
recent
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resent
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
 years reading some reasons and fairly discussed the methods must be taken to prevent
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 deteriorating
further
.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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