In many countries today people are choosing to have fewer children. Why is this the cause? What are the effects of this trend on the society?

#countries #people #children #effects #trend #society

Recently around the globe, most parents are making a choice of having a small family size

as a result

of various factors

such

as a better quality of life.

This

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

further

expatiate on the causes and the effects

this

decision has on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. The choice of having fewer babies

enable

Correct subject-verb agreement

enables

show examples

parents to financially cater for their young properly, as

such

, translates to having an heir who is physically sound.

For example

, my husband and I decided to birth

Change preposition

to 3

show examples

Kids, having monitored our daily expenditure over time, we concluded it was the best decision at the time.

Furthermore

, a study done on a few fathers in

South

Correct article usage

a South

show examples

Carolina hospital revealed,

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

fewer children parents have the better as they have been noticed to spend more quality time training the first and second child morally and psychologically. Other infants who were given birth to are usually left at the mercy of their senior siblings. Ultimately,

this

trend has a positive effect on society.

Firstly

, the company is made up of well-trained adolescents who grow up into youth and

contributes

Correct subject-verb agreement

contribute

show examples

their best at their place of work, paying their taxes.

This

improves the revenue generated by the government.

Secondly

, the neighbourhood is a safe place for all, as there are no armed robbers, rapists, cultists or gunmen,

thus

social security is ensured.

For instance

, my Christian public is socially

secured

Replace the word

secure

show examples

as no robbery, rape,

occultism

Correct word choice

or occultism

show examples

has ever been recorded.

Thirdly

, they offer new ideas and

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

which

improves

Correct subject-verb agreement

improve

show examples

industrialisation

Correct article usage

the industrialisation

show examples

of the vicinity, they can

also

become entrepreneurs as

such

, the society is not burdened with jobless youth. In conclusion, the recent trend of having a smaller family size is a choice

that is

beneficial to both the immediate family and community at large as it decreases the financial burden on the family and

improved

Wrong verb form

improves

show examples

communal life,

therefore

should be promoted.

Submitted by Dammy on Tue Jul 06 2021

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grammar

Your essay reads well overall, but there are a few areas to improve. Firstly, ensure to use consistent plural or singular forms. For example, 'birth 3 Kids' should be 'birth 3 kids.'

lexical

Work on expanding your vocabulary to avoid repetition and use more varied language. Instead of repeatedly saying 'few children,' try synonyms like 'smaller family size' or 'limited offspring.'

content

Your introduction clearly states the topic and your points which gives a comprehensive preview of your essay.

supporting points

The essay provides well-rounded examples and studies to support your points, which strengthens the reasoning.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries today people are choosing to have fewer children. Why is this the cause? What are the effects of this trend on the society?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Companies should provide sports and social fecilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?