The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

A high level of crime
content
is remarkably increasing in the modern world;
then
Rephrase
apply
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it leads to physical and mental problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vulnerable children;
however
, it could
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
with the help of government and parenting. The first issue would be physical, since watching TV takes time away from active exercises and
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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likely to eat high-fat foods.
For example
, the study revealed that the average Canadian child watches nearly 14 hours of television each week.
Therefore
, increasing the number of hours of television viewing
Add a missing verb
is
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associated with an increased relative risk of higher cholesterol levels in children.
As a result
, it will cause obesity, arteriosclerosis, and diabetes. The second main problem will be mental.
This
is because youth are good at copying what they see;
hence
their immature and vulnerable brain tends to capture the abuse
while
playing abused
content
. The first step will be a strict prohibition of offensive
content
on social
medial
Replace the word
media
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from the government. Perhaps, if the state started a ban on harmful
content
, it would negatively impact youth.
In addition
, another remedy may be that parents should use child-control systems to track the children’s internet access and suggest
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more peaceful games.
Overall
, allowing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children to unlimited social media platforms will lead to physical and mental issues
due to
their vulnerable and immature brains;
however
, it seems that issue would be solved by government control and parents’ attention.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
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