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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, some universities offer graduate students’ skills that assist them to find employment, but some people believe that the main function of university should be to access knowledge for its sake. What’s your opinion?

#universities #offer #graduate #students’ #skills #employment #people #function #university #access #sake #what’s
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In contemporary days some
universities
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 provide a chance
to
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for
show examples
 graduate
students
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 to find their workplace.
While
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 people think that employment is important, others believe that the primary function of
universities
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 is to open access to knowledge. In my opinion, schooling should be designed to prepare
students
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 for real life, rather than underlining the academic aspect only. There can be no doubt that the main purpose of providing
university
Correct article usage
a university
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 education is to help young contenders to start and pursue their future careers.
However
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,
universities
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 in the present time are not giving access to enough information which is necessary for
students
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.
Students
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 after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
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 only have knowledge of the particular sphere, but they
unaware
Add a missing verb
are unaware
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 of where they should start.
Therefore
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,
universities
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 should place their emphasis on vocational training which is directly correlated to a specific trade, occupation or vocation. Particularly it is true when jobs that are well-paid require the best use of technical
skills
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. Aside from these
skills
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,
universities
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 should assume the responsibility to enhance and diversify the
skills
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 of the
students
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 which can be used during their life. There are numerous
skills
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 that might play a vital role in
students
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’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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such
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 as recognizing people’s feelings, setting attainable goals,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
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 problem-solving strategies. University can make it a reality.
For example
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, by organizing a variety of physical activities
students
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 can enhance their abilities of team-working and leadership. These
skills
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, when taken together, will assist
to apply
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in applying
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 the knowledge dexterously. As depicted above, the primary goal of
universities
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 is to prepare
students
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 for well-paid workplaces. During the education, extracurricular activities should be held in an effort to make
students
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 productive members of society
Submitted by Dariga on

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task response
You have addressed the topic, but you need to clearly express your opinion and provide a clear stance on the main functions of universities.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a logical structure and supported the main points effectively. However, your introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employability
  • digital literacy
  • project management
  • intellectual capabilities
  • critical thinking
  • transition
  • theoretical knowledge
  • practical experience
  • co-operative education
  • global competitiveness
  • innovation
  • well-rounded
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
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