Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #doctors #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities

Different

professsions

Correct your spelling

professions

professionals

have different roles in societies,

importance

Add an article

the importance

show examples

of which,at times , is classified on the basis of what the person is banking from it. Its is generally argued that degree based occupation, namely, doctors and teachers should be better financially rewarded than those in the

illustratious

Correct your spelling

illustrious

illustrations

illustration

careers of sports and entertainment. While the sports and entertainment personalities deserve their status and earnings, I believe that we need to compensate the

professionals

Change to a genitive case

professional's

professionals'

show examples

workers better.

To begin

with, the career path of film or

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

star

Fix the agreement mistake

stars

show examples

is quite tedious as they have to go through many challenges and competitions to reach the pinnacle or even to get some limelight.

Moreover

, the competition is more fierce as the

postions

Correct your spelling

positions

position

is numbered with only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

positions available.

For instance

, there are only five teams in Formula one with each team having only 3 professional drivers. In tennis, football or even in movies

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are merely

hundred

Correct article usage

a hundred

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people who are able to do well.

By contrast

, you might see

million

Correct your spelling

millions

show examples

of doctors, and teachers in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

However

, we need to see the true value of these professionals

Change preposition

with

show examples

respect to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Doctors and teachers

contibute

Correct your spelling

contribute

immensely

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and are vital for the well being of humanity altogether. In

additions

Fix the agreement mistake

addition

show examples

, not only they go through the

rigourous

Correct your spelling

rigorous

training where they sacrifice many years to equip themselves with these capabilities, but

also

they carry the huge financial burden

that is

incurred with

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fees and not working for many years. One should consider the fact that

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

time span to become

doctor

Add an article

a doctor

show examples

is around 8- 10 years.

Hence

, because of the time value expenses and services, these

professional

Fix the agreement mistake

professionals

show examples

are more eligible for better monetary

reward

Fix the agreement mistake

rewards

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

the sports and entertainment personalities

shuold

Correct your spelling

should

be highly rewarded for their accomplishments, other professionals should

also

be paid for their contributions

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

similar level.

Submitted by deardeadly2002 on Wed Jul 07 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Professional workers
Societal contribution
Scarcity
Market forces
Consumer demand
Role models
Economic impact
Revenue generation
Fair compensation
Social equity
Intrinsic rewards
Job satisfaction
Media rights
Merchandise sales
Public figures

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Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Aircrafts have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the cause for being overweight and provide solutions.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?