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Band 5.5

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to hard work in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? what solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
There is no doubt that there
are
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is
show examples
 a lot of pressure on teenagers in
school
 and university.Nowadays, students are having hard times working on their homework and projects with insufficient free time. In
this
 essay, I will explore some of the problems associated with stress in
school
 and propose some solutions One problem in
school
 is
parents
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
.
For example
,
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
 and mother of a high
school
student
 tend to convince their child to work hard for
grade
 A.
This
 is an issue because it does not mean that the result will always meet their goal. To solve
this
 problem, family members must not set the standard too high and try to encourage more.
As a result
, the
student
 will be more comfortable and have
motivation
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the motivation
show examples
 to try harder for one's family. Another issue is competition among
classmate
Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
show examples
.
For example
, a
student
 who receives
grade
 B may
ashame
Correct your spelling
shame
 of
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
himself
show examples
 because there is another
student
 who receives
grade
 A.
This
 causes the
student
 who
get
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gets
show examples
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
grade
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grades
show examples
 to be
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
 pressure and study harder to compete with the genius in the same class. To solve
this
 problem,
parents
 should try to teach their children to not underestimate themselves and everybody has one's own
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 topic.
As a result
, the
student
 will stop racing with others and be more self-respect. In conclusion,
although
 students face a variety of problems,
such
 as
parents
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 and competition among
classmate
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classmates
show examples
, these problems are
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
mot
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 insurmountable. In my view, it is the
parents
'
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to solve these issues, and they should begin by considering some of the
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 proposed above.
Submitted by phaknetflix.12 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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