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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Recently, recruiters often ask candidates applying for jobs for personal
information
,
such
 as their personal preferences and marital state. While it is the opinion of some that
this
information
 is irrelevant in
hiring
Add an article
the hiring
show examples
 process, I would agree with those who believe that
this
information
 is beneficial and has an integral part.
To begin
 with, the primary reason why some people disagree with
this
 trend is related to privacy concerns.
This
 is because there are some people who are rigorous about their personal life, and they do not welcome answering
such
 questions to strangers;
hence
, if they are asked about their lives during
interview
Add an article
the interview
an interview
show examples
, they will probably feel insecure.
Moreover
, some inefficient employers might leak their company’s personnel
information
 to a
third
 party
such
 as salesmen,
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the sake of personal interests.
As a result
,
this
 is would be an illegal breach into people’s personal lives.
On the other hand
, the fundamental reason for asking candidates about their personal life is basically to determine the best work environment for them.
For example
, there are some jobs that require specific skills
such
 as
analysis
Replace the word
analytical
show examples
 skills.
Therefore
, recruiters need to know if someone likes chess or not.
In addition
 to
this
, these questions can reveal whether the mindset of the potential employees would be compatible with current employees as most companies now rely on collaboration and communication between
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 employees more than qualifications to achieve the best outcome. In brief, asking
such
 questions is most likely worthwhile for individuals and corporations.
By ways
Correct your spelling
Byways
show examples
 on
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
,
although
 taking people’s personal
information
 when hired might cause some issues
such
 as privacy concerns, I opine that the merits of
this
 development are far more notable.
Submitted by omarmohamed995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: