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Band 4.5

Increased juvenile crime is attributed to violence in media. To what extend do you agree? What are the solutions?

#crime #violence #media
In
this
 decade, the internet has been a part of our lives, it makes our life simpler. On the other ,hand there is a spike
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 juvenile crimes in relation to watching violent content in the
media
. In
this
 essay, I will tackle the issues or factors that relate to crimes and
media
.
To begin
 with, having an accessible internet and computer at home for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 and young adults had given them the capacity to search and
lookup
Correct your spelling
look up
show examples
 everything on the web. In that case, parents were not available all the time to check their
children
's activities on the computer.
For example
, two underage
children
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 saw in the news recently, have been playing video games
such
 as grand theft auto which is considered violent including killings using firearms, theft and destroying properties. These
children
then
 went out and break into someone's home grabbing firearms and shooting towards the police officers. With regards to that example, the
media
/internet should have more restrictions towards video games and the web.
Furthermore
,
children
 should have aware and be educated correctly for not following what they are seeing in the
media
. Parents should be responsible as well for supervising their
children
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
media
 can be a precursor of increasing crime and violence in relation to crimes committed by juveniles.
Submitted by des teleron on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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