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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increased juvenile crime is attributed to violence in media. To what extend do you agree? What are the solutions?

#crime #violence #media
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In
this
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 decade, the internet has been a part of our lives, it makes our life simpler. On the other ,hand there is a spike
of
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in
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 juvenile crimes in relation to watching violent content in the
media
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. In
this
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 essay, I will tackle the issues or factors that relate to crimes and
media
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.
To begin
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 with, having an accessible internet and computer at home for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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 and young adults had given them the capacity to search and
lookup
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look up
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 everything on the web. In that case, parents were not available all the time to check their
children
Use synonyms
's activities on the computer.
For example
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, two underage
children
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 that
i
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I
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 saw in the news recently, have been playing video games
such
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 as grand theft auto which is considered violent including killings using firearms, theft and destroying properties. These
children
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then
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 went out and break into someone's home grabbing firearms and shooting towards the police officers. With regards to that example, the
media
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/internet should have more restrictions towards video games and the web.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 should have aware and be educated correctly for not following what they are seeing in the
media
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. Parents should be responsible as well for supervising their
children
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
media
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 can be a precursor of increasing crime and violence in relation to crimes committed by juveniles.
Submitted by des teleron on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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