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Band 4

Compared to the past, more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#adults #medications #diseases #support
Nowadays, a major part of the younger generation consume medicines for illnesses as compared to the older ones.
The teenagers
Correct article usage
Teenagers
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 are highly dependent on doses. There are numerous reasons for
this
 as explained in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, due to the advancement in the area of medical sciences,
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
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 for various ailments is available today which was not possible in the past.
For instance
, a huge number of children
suffered
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suffering
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 from polio decades ago
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, because of the research and development of doctors the panacea for it was found and today no child suffers from it.
Furthermore
, as the population and pollution
is
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are
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 on
surge
Add an article
the surge
a surge
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,
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 novel maladies are emerging which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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 people of every age.
For example
, the deadly coronavirus has impacted everyone, whatever be their age. Despite recovering from it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans are experiencing secondary repercussions in their system.
Hence
, teenagers are left with no other option than to switch to treatments
such
 as consuming
milti
Correct your spelling
multi
milk
-vitamins to make for the deficiencies they have in their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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.
On the other hand
, in earlier times, the oldies preferred substitutes for drugs. They had a conservative approach towards it. To exemplify, previously the community chose home remedies when they fell sick. They believed that it would help in a better recovery without any
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
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. To conclude, imbibing nostrums to remain fit and healthy should be opted when necessary. A person should abstain from becoming completely dependent on them even for the regular nutrition balance in their framework.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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