People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
the
increasing number of Correct article usage
an
people
are concentrating on the topic about
whether individuals should rank Change preposition
of
health
as priority
to Add an article
a priority
the
social responsibility, Correct article usage
apply
such
as doing exercises or focusing on nutrition supplement
rather than other Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
benefits
. For
my perspective, I agree that Change preposition
From
health
is the
fundamental to our whole Change the article
apply
society
.
Good health
can accelerate the speed of development pace in economic aspects to the society
. It will maximize the profit from the creativity and productivity by the good health
of people
. Good quality of body will brings
more creativity when Change the verb form
bring
people
handle some tough problems and have enough energy to turn sparkling originality into a developed idea than those who are weak or easy to get illness
. Add an article
the illness
an illness
Which
means, they can invent more innovation and up efficiency are undeniably effective to the economies of Correct pronoun usage
This
market
. Especially in some cutting -aged technology Correct article usage
the market
field
, having good Fix the agreement mistake
fields
health
will helps
to prolong their retirement and remains those Change the verb form
help
intelligence
scientists to insist on their position and bring more Replace the word
intelligent
benefits
to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
In addition
, good health
will keep the human civilization continue to propaganda it’s
traditional culture and human intelligence to be reserved. To keep those Correct your spelling
its
people
‘s health
is actually vital for our cultural establishment and inherited which hardly be substituted by other forms of patterns. For example
, some traditional handy craft strategies which
may Correct pronoun usage
apply
existed
for thousands of years and transform from one generation to the Change the verb form
exist
next
by those professors who are dominated in this
field. If those people
who
are likely to get illness or dead by suddenly disease seems to be a big loss to the whole Correct pronoun usage
apply
society
civilization. So, it is obviously
to see that good Replace the word
obvious
health
should be ranked as the priority to
the others in social aspects.
Change preposition
of
However
, it is not deniable that personal benefits
should be underestimate
. Change the verb form
be underestimated
People
may suffer more if they do not care about their health
or not paly
well as a good father or mother role model in their families. But if everyone only seeks their own Correct your spelling
play
benefits
as the number one and higher than the social duty, people
will finally
be lost our
identity because of the collapse of the whole Correct pronoun usage
their
society
. Before we can keep stable in our family or fulfil our goal in the workplace, we are actually is the part of the whole family of our countries.
In conclusion, good health
should be successful to appeal to our attention and set as a key factor to complete the common goal in our big family as well.Submitted by jyo87 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.