People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increasing number of
people
are concentrating on the topic
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
whether individuals should rank
health
as
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social responsibility,
such
as doing exercises or focusing on nutrition
supplement
Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
show examples
rather than other
benefits
.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
my perspective, I agree that
health
is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
fundamental to our whole
society
. Good
health
can accelerate the speed of development pace in economic aspects to the
society
. It will maximize the profit from the creativity and productivity by the good
health
of
people
. Good quality of body will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
more creativity when
people
handle some tough problems and have enough energy to turn sparkling originality into a developed idea than those who are weak or easy to get
illness
Add an article
the illness
an illness
show examples
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
means, they can invent more innovation and up efficiency are undeniably effective to the economies of
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
. Especially in some cutting -aged technology
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
, having good
health
will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to prolong their retirement and remains those
intelligence
Replace the word
intelligent
show examples
scientists to insist on their position and bring more
benefits
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
In addition
, good
health
will keep the human civilization continue to propaganda
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
traditional culture and human intelligence to be reserved. To keep those
people
‘s
health
is actually vital for our cultural establishment and inherited which hardly be substituted by other forms of patterns.
For example
, some traditional handy craft strategies
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may
existed
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exist
show examples
for thousands of years and transform from one generation to the
next
by those professors who are dominated in
this
field. If those
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are likely to get illness or dead by suddenly disease seems to be a big loss to the whole
society
civilization. So, it is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
show examples
to see that good
health
should be ranked as the priority
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the others in social aspects.
However
, it is not deniable that personal
benefits
should
be underestimate
Change the verb form
be underestimated
show examples
.
People
may suffer more if they do not care about their
health
or not
paly
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
well as a good father or mother role model in their families. But if everyone only seeks their own
benefits
as the number one and higher than the social duty,
people
will
finally
be lost
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
identity because of the collapse of the whole
society
. Before we can keep stable in our family or fulfil our goal in the workplace, we are actually is the part of the whole family of our countries. In conclusion, good
health
should be successful to appeal to our attention and set as a key factor to complete the common goal in our big family as well.
Submitted by jyo87 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
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