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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

DOES IT HELP STUDENTS IF PARENTS PAY FOR THEIR UNIVERSITY EDUCATION?

#students #parents #university #education
The support of
parents
 in the university education is important for the motivation that they give to continue the studies, but
in
particular
Add a comma
,particular
show examples
 is relevant their support of bear the expensive cost of university. It is the reason why a lot of students decide to
work
 and it has advantages and disadvantages. An advantage
is certainly connect
Change the verb form
is certainly connected
show examples
 to the money that can be used to pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 studies and help
parents
. They can
also
 pay their personal expenses and so money permits them to become economically independent from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
An
Change the article
A
show examples
 disadvantage is surely the
time
. If students
work
 while studying, it can distract them and influence negatively
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 studies, because they are more stressed and less focused and they may not graduate on
time
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 they will not have
time
 to dedicate to hobbies or leisure activities. But some people when they haven’t enough
time
, they organize better their
time
.
Anyway
Add the punctuation
,Anyway
show examples
 it changes from person to person and it depends on many factors like the course of study, the ability to control stress, the type of
work
. But I think that if
parents
 have no problem
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 the whole expenses of university and students don’t have to
work
, they are
more quiet
Replace the words
quieter
show examples
 and study is easier because they have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 worries.
Submitted by carol.scandolara on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional support
  • Financial implications
  • Self-reliance
  • Personal growth
  • Social networking
  • Professional contacts
  • Household chores
  • Independence
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Burden
  • Engage
  • Proximity
  • Conducive
  • Insulated
  • Opportunities
What to do next:
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