Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

The

income

of entertainers is an ongoing hot debate issue. Some

people

argue that

people

who work in

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

industry are

ovrpaid

Correct your spelling

overpaid

. I

partialy

Correct your spelling

partially

agree with

this

statement. In

this

essay, I will give some

explainations

Correct your spelling

explanations

explanation

and discuss other types of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

that should be highly paid. A number of

people

think that the

income

celebraties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

and sports stars is too high. I partially agree with

this

. We cannot ignore that those entertainers have

add

Change the verb form

added

show examples

colours to public lives, and they provide

people

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

However

, their extremely high

income

could mislead

people

that they can gain fame and fortune overnight, which is not likely to happen in

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

world. Many

people

are not willing to do other types of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

As a result

, there will be an employment issue with other types of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and the development of

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society will be affected. To avoid

this

issue,

people

who work in professional areas should deserve higher wages

such

fireman

Fix the agreement mistake

firemen

show examples

, polices, doctors, and nurses.

Thoes

Correct your spelling

Those

people

have

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

contribution

Fix the agreement mistake

contributions

show examples

to our society. They save millions of lives and they have to face many dangerous situations. The time and energy they put

Change preposition

into

show examples

training

Add an article

the training

show examples

and obtaining

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional knowledge should

also

be considered.

For example

, a

docotor

Correct your spelling

doctor

may

need

Add the particle

toneed

show examples

spend more than 10 years to obtain a degree.

Therefore

, they should deserve higher

income

and more

people

will be attracted to do a professional

job

. In conclusion, I partially agree that entertainers are overpaid, which can mislead

Correct article usage

the publics

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

public

show examples

publics

Correct your spelling

public

show examples

Moreover

thoes

Correct your spelling

those

people

who work in professional areas should be highly paid because they have

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

contribution to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, and they make lots of effort to become professional in their specific field.

Submitted by lucky19961104 on Sun Jul 11 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter Say what experience you have Ask what the work involves Enquire about conditions

In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

Providing a national system in a country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourages people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on a country’s financial resources.