Nowadays television and the Internet have a greater influence on children's behaviour than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the fast
technique
Replace the word
technological
show examples
progress, the electrical media play a more and more important role in people's life. Some argue that televisions and the
Internet
affect more in terms of
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
than their
parents
, whereas I do not
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of the plenty of knowledge and skills contained in these techniques. It is true that television and the
Internets
Fix the agreement mistake
Internet
show examples
show them how to behave in many aspects.
Add an article
A child
The child
show examples
Child
Fix the agreement mistake
Children
show examples
can mimic various actors or cartoon roles to exhibit his or her manner in different conditions and
asimilate
Correct your spelling
assimilate
skills like singing and dancing.
For example
, a boy can learn the methods of
speeching
Replace the word
speech
show examples
by watching videos of Obama, an excellent American president with a reputation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
his speeches, from the
Internet
.
Parents
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays tend to be stuck in work and are limited by their
compentence
Correct your spelling
competence
to provide the whole field of guidance, but the media can help
children
to do better in their life.
However
, an unestimated fact is that
parents
are the
first
and fundamental
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
of
children
's life and mode them into what they are. Basically, it is the
parents
who bring kids into the world, to get in touch with things in front of them, and to show them how to distinguish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right and wrong as well as the way to use tools like the
Internet
. If two boys of the same age with different family members both left home with a computer, they may act with a disparity of
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
;
for example
, one may play
game
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
while the other may surf for learning. The variety of attitudes are decided by the basic acknowledge of themselves and the world from their
parents
, which has an impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
in the way of both using the
Internet
and performing in the future. In conclusion,
parents
weigh more in the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of
children
, though the
internet
and television impart a greater range of knowledge and skills for kids.
Submitted by lymlin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: