IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many developing countries place a lot of importance on tourism. Why is this? Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #place #importance #tourism #development
Many growing
nations
 give more
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
.
This
 is done because many
countries
 want to show their
beauty
 to the entire world.
This
 essay agrees that it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive development for
nations
. Several
countries
 around the globe tend to represent their
beauty
 to other
countries
.
This
 is because nature and infrastructure
tells
Change the verb form
tell
show examples
 a lot about the
countries
 image to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners.
Also
, the ratings are done globally about every nation and
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 placed in the categories of best or worst
nations
 in terms of their Environmental
beauty
.
For instance
, Dubai being a
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
 country has Burj khalifa and palm island where the tourists come and experience it. Due to its infrastructure and
tourism
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
 it comes in the top
countries
 in terms of naturality on the earth.
Secondly
, it
also
 supports the economies of various
nations
.
This
 is to say
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
massive numbers of foreigners go to see the countrysides of various international
nations
.
As a result
, they bring a large amount of cash and money with them
that is
 spent on the home
countries
. Due to which the economies are boosted and
nations
 become more advanced and developed.
For example
, Switzerland is popular for its mountains and greenery.
Therefore
, it primarily depends on its
tourism
 and not on other things. In conclusion, there are numerous plus points or positive development of backing
tourism
 by
countries
. mainly, global
countries
 do
this
 to demonstrate their
beauty
, and It is
also
 done to increase the financial condition and inflow of more foreign currency in the host
nations
.
Submitted by tarsemsandhu6275 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: