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Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

#people #countries #diet #critics #change
The Western citizen’s
diet
 has become worse according to some critics. Some professors argue that they should
chage
Correct your spelling
change
charge
 their
diet
. I personally agree with these suggestions.
Firstly
, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrialization, more
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 start to produce canned
foods
. These productions are convenient for customers to buy and use. But they are certainly less
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
 and safe for people to use
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long period.
Moreover
, there are several
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of junk
foods
 around the world. Teenagers prefer to eat junk
food
 the most and there’s no benefit for their development.
In addition
, using machines to produce
foods
 is sometimes extremely dangerous because of the
toxic
Replace the word
toxicity
show examples
 in the engines.
On the other hand
, western countries can change the
diet
 from modern
food
 to traditional
food
, as these
foods
 have a lot of nutrition and vitamins. People can easily prevent themselves from a dangerous disease,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 cancer.
Finally
,
although
 using technology devices to produce
food
 is undeniably convenient, the importance of a healthy
diet
 to everyone should always be the priority. In western countries, it is essential for citizens to adjust their eating choices to include more traditional
food
that is
 safer and healthier.
Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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