The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?
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At
the
present, an excessive number of people are anxious , as the cruelties that are presented by music lyrics , video games and movies impact adversely Correct article usage
apply
to
youths. We will discuss most principal problems arising and Change preposition
apply
also
two following remedies which can reduce this
anxiety. Argueably
the gravest problem of Correct your spelling
Arguably
violent
in entertainment promotes aggressive emotion;Replace the word
violence
consequencely
, youngsters are unable to handle their depression or forceful feeling , and it is Correct your spelling
consequently
cause
of suicide and offences. To illustrate, Most teenagers have Add an article
the cause
a cause
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
that
associated with peer pressure or depression Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
situation may lead to the preperence
for rap and heavy metal music genre that describes suicide , sexual Correct your spelling
preference
forcefullness
or other cruelties ; Correct your spelling
forcefulness
as a result
of this
, some of them can not handle their feeling and it is being cause
of suicide , accidental murder or ravishment. A Change the verb form
is being caused
is causing
further
serious impact is this
gente of contents diminishes timidity
of death or delinquency. In fact , Correct article usage
the timidity
According to
the youngest serial murderer Amardeep Sada said
, afflicting victims is not arduous for him because he has often seen bloodthirstiness and other inhumanity in movies and Verb problem
apply
videogames
. Turning to Correct your spelling
video games
possible
Add an article
the possible
initiative
, Augmenting governmental oversight for Fix the agreement mistake
initiatives
this
kind of content ;for example
films and clips should be prohibited that Add a comma
example,
described
sadism, Wrong verb form
describe
sexual
forcefulness Add an article
the sexual
of
inhumanity. In South Korea, a lot of clips and TV programs are unable to be presented because authorities appear that aggressive descriptions may impact minorities adversely ;as a result of Correct your spelling
or
this
, a
number of young criminals is inferior among Asian countries. Another remedy is parents should curtail inappropriate Correct article usage
the
contents
which are seen by their children. In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
content
Although
the preference of
aggressive entertainment is making minorities have Change preposition
for
inability
to control their negative emotions and increasing adult offenders, oversight of authorities and parents can reduce that adverse outcome.Add an article
an inability
the inability
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite