The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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present, an excessive number of people are anxious , as the cruelties that are presented by music lyrics , video games and movies impact adversely
to
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apply
show examples
youths. We will discuss most principal problems arising and
also
two following remedies which can reduce
this
anxiety.
Argueably
Correct your spelling
Arguably
the gravest problem of
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
in entertainment promotes aggressive emotion;
consequencely
Correct your spelling
consequently
, youngsters are unable to handle their depression or forceful feeling , and it is
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
of suicide and offences. To illustrate, Most teenagers have
problem
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a problem
the problem
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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associated with peer pressure or depression
this
situation may lead to the
preperence
Correct your spelling
preference
for rap and heavy metal music genre that describes suicide , sexual
forcefullness
Correct your spelling
forcefulness
or other cruelties ;
as a result
of
this
, some of them can not handle their feeling and it
is being cause
Change the verb form
is being caused
is causing
show examples
of suicide , accidental murder or ravishment. A
further
serious impact is
this
gente of contents diminishes
timidity
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the timidity
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of death or delinquency. In fact ,
According to
the youngest serial murderer Amardeep Sada
said
Verb problem
apply
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, afflicting victims is not arduous for him because he has often seen bloodthirstiness and other inhumanity in movies and
videogames
Correct your spelling
video games
show examples
. Turning to
possible
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the possible
show examples
initiative
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initiatives
show examples
, Augmenting governmental oversight for
this
kind of content ;for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
films and clips should be prohibited that
described
Wrong verb form
describe
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sadism,
sexual
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the sexual
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forcefulness
of
Correct your spelling
or
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inhumanity. In South Korea, a lot of clips and TV programs are unable to be presented because authorities appear that aggressive descriptions may impact minorities adversely ;as a result of
this
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of young criminals is inferior among Asian countries. Another remedy is parents should curtail inappropriate
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
which are seen by their children. In conclusion,
Although
the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
aggressive entertainment is making minorities have
inability
Add an article
an inability
the inability
show examples
to control their negative emotions and increasing adult offenders, oversight of authorities and parents can reduce that adverse outcome.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
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