The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

At
the
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apply
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present, an excessive number of people are anxious , as the cruelties that are presented by music lyrics , video games and movies impact adversely
to
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apply
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youths. We will discuss most principal problems arising and
also
two following remedies which can reduce
this
anxiety.
Argueably
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Arguably
the gravest problem of
violent
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violence
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in entertainment promotes aggressive emotion;
consequencely
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consequently
, youngsters are unable to handle their depression or forceful feeling , and it is
cause
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the cause
a cause
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of suicide and offences. To illustrate, Most teenagers have
problem
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a problem
the problem
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that
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associated with peer pressure or depression
this
situation may lead to the
preperence
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preference
for rap and heavy metal music genre that describes suicide , sexual
forcefullness
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forcefulness
or other cruelties ;
as a result
of
this
, some of them can not handle their feeling and it
is being cause
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is being caused
is causing
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of suicide , accidental murder or ravishment. A
further
serious impact is
this
gente of contents diminishes
timidity
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the timidity
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of death or delinquency. In fact ,
According to
the youngest serial murderer Amardeep Sada
said
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, afflicting victims is not arduous for him because he has often seen bloodthirstiness and other inhumanity in movies and
videogames
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video games
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. Turning to
possible
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the possible
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initiative
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initiatives
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, Augmenting governmental oversight for
this
kind of content ;for
example
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example,
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films and clips should be prohibited that
described
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describe
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sadism,
sexual
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the sexual
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forcefulness
of
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or
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inhumanity. In South Korea, a lot of clips and TV programs are unable to be presented because authorities appear that aggressive descriptions may impact minorities adversely ;as a result of
this
,
a
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the
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number of young criminals is inferior among Asian countries. Another remedy is parents should curtail inappropriate
contents
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content
show examples
which are seen by their children. In conclusion,
Although
the preference
of
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for
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aggressive entertainment is making minorities have
inability
Add an article
an inability
the inability
show examples
to control their negative emotions and increasing adult offenders, oversight of authorities and parents can reduce that adverse outcome.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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