The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree.

With the advent of modern computerization and
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
everything which we desire is now only a click away. The rate of online purchasing is growing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
sooo
Correct your spelling
so
fast
pace
Correct article usage
a pace
show examples
that it may lead to
complete
Add an article
the complete
show examples
shutting of local markets and
open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
show examples
shops. I partially agree with the above statement and will give my opinion in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs. On the one hand, online shopping provides large benefits as it is less cumbersome n more comfortable. Due to globalization , society is flooded with large international and national brands to choose from and that
also
in reasonable pricing. People can easily scroll any item on their respective laptops and smartphones and order them
hassle
Add the particle
to hassle
show examples
free.and
moreover
easy returns and exchange
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
add more to its comfort zone.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
Amazon Is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
famous fashion brand in India offering
all
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
from ethnic wear to kitchenware and
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
can easily order and return without any problems.
On the other hand
, handicrafts offered by local artisans and shops are unmatchable. Folks get to see more options while visiting the market and buy perfect size from them which is not possible online and
furthermore
electronics and hardware are
Correct your spelling
buoyed
buyed
Correct your spelling
bought
show examples
by people only after proper checking and scrutiny by
customer
Add an article
the customer
a customer
show examples
and they don't rely online
for
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
shopping
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of appliances. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
I would like to say that though online shopping is
growning
Correct your spelling
growing
in peaks
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it will completely discard local market will not be possible
Submitted by hargobind.rehal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: