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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

while people flood into big cities to seek jobs and happy life, there is a tendency for people to move out. What problems do big cities have? Give reasons for your answer from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #flood #cities #jobs #life #tendency #move
With the socio-economic development, more and more
people
 have poured into
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 to hunt for jobs as well as to have a better
life
. Some others have an inclination of leaving the
city
 to find other appropriate places to live. To my mind, there are two main reasons to be explained for
this
 issue.
First
 of all,
although
city
life
 has been considered as the best place to search for a stable job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary,
people
 encounter the risk of crimes.
This
 issue has become more common in all
cities
 in the world. Due to being crowded with
people
, violent crimes appear and rise
such
 as robbing, stealing and murdering. Obviously,
this
 is an insurmountable challenge for those who would like to live in
cities
.
Therefore
,
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in
cities
 to feel unsafe and absolutely terrified
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 criminal activities. Old
people
 usually have an option to live in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
instead
 of living in
cities
. Another reason is that
people
 live in
cities
; they
also
 cope with
contaminated
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the contaminated
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
. A large amount of emission has been emitted from motorcycles, cars and industrial zones. These detrimental chemicals
such
 as carbon dioxide and lead can cause emphysema. What is more, pollution from water, noise and rubbish
are
Change the verb form
is
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 regarded as the most concerned malady in
city
life
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, a large number of
people
 who live in
cities
 suffered from asthma, stroke and lung cancer.
For example
, in recent research, the Vietnamese government indicated that about 21
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 who live in
cities
 have these above diseases.
Therefore
, moving out
cities
Change preposition
of cities
show examples
 becomes an urgent decision of many
people
. It seems to me that the reasons for moving out
cities
Change preposition
of cities
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be due to a wave of crime and harsh pollution. Young
people
 flood into
cities
 to hunt for jobs and make money. Elderly
people
 leave
city
life
 because of keeping health and safe
life
. It is likely to be better to live in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 than to live in
cities
.
Submitted by hieudang.jeff2108 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Housing demand
  • Public services
  • Cost of living
  • Pollution levels
  • Air quality
  • Traffic congestion
  • Commuting
  • Crime rates
  • Income disparity
  • Infrastructure
  • Public transport
  • Green spaces
  • Urban heat
What to do next:
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