Young adults should contribute to their communities by doing unpaid work in their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is very common for young
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for the sake of contributing to their communities. Doing no-paid
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not only helps
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
to have
better
Add an article
a better

The noun phrase better understanding seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
understanding of their communities but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to build up their personality. The arguments are followed.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, doing voluntary works provides sufficient opportunities for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
young
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to serve
needy
Correct article usage
the needy

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
. These items
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as cleaning streets, visiting
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
in need and flag-selling. Volunteers gain lots of information about their living environment as well as
linkage
Add an article
a linkage

The noun phrase linkage seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
among their
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours

It seems that neighbour may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. The sense of
belong
Change the verb form
belonging

The verb belong may be in the wrong form after the preposition of. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
towards local
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increase.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is good for
the
Correct your spelling
them

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another advantage of voluntary jobs is
well-establishment
Correct article usage
the well-establishment

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
of personality. Throughout the different activities, their personal quality namely communication skills,
team-
Correct your spelling
teamwork

The word team-work doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and decision making will
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be improved.
Linking Words
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
precious life
experiences
Add a verb
areexperiences
wereexperiences

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

show examples
definitely beneficial to their future development.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, someone may claim that suck
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

share
Change the verb form
shares

The plural verb share does not appear to agree with the singular subject suck work. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
a
consideration
Replace the word
considerable

The word consideration doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
amount of time which can be utilised more
efficient
Replace the word
efficiently

The word efficient doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, young
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can attend academic lessons or enjoy their leisure time with friends.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, voluntary
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and me-time can
co-exists
Change the verb form
co-exist

The verb co-exists after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
. They are mutually exclusive to each other. In conclusion, young
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can
be benefit
Change the verb form
benefit

It appears that the form of the verb benefit does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
from doing unpaid
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by knowing more about their social situation and improving
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
characteristics
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
. The advantages of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

are more than the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: