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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantaged people like unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do u you agree or disagree?

Monetary need is omnipresent and has little to do with the
tag
Check wording
status
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 of a developed or developing
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
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.
However
Linking Words
, the decision to provide international aid is not only based on humanitarian grounds and comparison of poor among
countries
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is
also
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 a quintessential part of a
country
Use synonyms
's foreign policy.
Consequently
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, it becomes vital to provide monetary international help so as to gain influence on the world stage.
Firstly
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, the form of global financial help has been
metamorphosising
Verb problem
metamorphosing
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 for decades
,
Punctuation problem
;
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nevertheless
Linking Words
, the primary goal remains to help poor
countries
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 and
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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 influence in world politics. A
country
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 has many foreign policy goals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to achieve them requires significant efforts both strategically and monetarily. The parsimonious nationalists often opine that
such
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 monetary expenses are not
beneficially
Replace the word
beneficial
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 for the
country
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's own poor and unemployed.
For example
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, the amount provisioned for foreign assistance could be used for internal social benefit schemes
such
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 as shelters for the homeless and unemployment incentives.
On the other hand
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, it is conspicuous that
countries
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 are spending resources on defence mechanisms, space programs, and unnecessary subsidies
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 these are important to maintain the social and fiscal fabric of a
country
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.
For instance
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, there will always be some frictional unemployment and poverty
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 as
such
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, it is not justifiable to cut all expenses in order to reduce these. In the simplest form, international assistance could be considered a part of networking tactics and forming relations with one's neighbours.
Additionally
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, great opportunities can be found by forming good ties with other
Use synonyms
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
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 be it global trade routes or a new market for exports.
To sum up
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, social disadvantages will always remain in society to some extent
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 like any micro-financial planning, it is the balance of expenses
that is
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 important than a silo-based approach to handling social issues.
Therefore
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,
while
Linking Words
 it is unequivocally essential to reduce poverty, it is equally essential to form good relations and be a global leader as well.

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Task Response
Be clear on your view. Say how much you agree or disagree in the start and keep it.
Coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also to show how you plan your points.
Grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Try one idea per sentence.
Task Response
Give examples that match your view and relate to the task.
Language use
Check spelling and fix hard words to easy ones.
Structure
Structure: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short end. Each paragraph has one idea.
Structure
Clear layout with intro, body and conclusion
Balance
Shows both sides and gives reasons
Examples
Gives examples that link home and world
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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