Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games

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It is argued that doing

activities

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outside is more advantageous to a child’s overall growth than playing games on computers. I completely agree with

this

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aforementioned statement.

This

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essay will discuss the benefits of these

activities

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to kids’ development of physical and mental health.

Firstly

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, outside

activities

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help

children

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build strong bones and physical strength. In fact, regular exercises from playground

activities

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possibly increase appetite and foster the process of metabolism and digestion, which helps the body absorb minerals and proteins effectively.

Besides

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that, being in the sunshine means that

children

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can naturally absorb vitamin D which is

Remove the article

apply

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essential

nutrition

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nutrient

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for the development of bones.

By contrast

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, gaming might encourage a sedentary lifestyle. Lavishing time on

this

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activity is one of the causes making

children

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easily suffer from obesity

Secondly

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, playing outside may enhance mental health.

This

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is because when staying in touch with nature,

children

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's imagination seems to be stimulated by various objects or shapes and colours in diverse sizes. The outdoor environment gives young people the opportunity to develop creativity efficiently.

In addition

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, they are likely to engage in direct interaction with their friends to learn social skills rather than looking at laptop screens.

This

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means that

this

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behaviour can lead to stronger relationships in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of playground

activities

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are more significant than its disadvantages. It is recommended that

children

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should be encouraged to attend more outdoor

activities

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with friends to enhance their physical and mental health.

Submitted by btfemx on Sat Jul 17 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Climate change has become a serious problem for mankind. What are the causes and effect of it?

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.