Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

It is argued that doing
activities
outside is more advantageous to a child’s overall growth than playing games on computers. I completely agree with
this
aforementioned statement.
This
essay will discuss the benefits of these
activities
to kids’ development of physical and mental health.
Firstly
, outside
activities
help
children
build strong bones and physical strength. In fact, regular exercises from playground
activities
possibly increase appetite and foster the process of metabolism and digestion, which helps the body absorb minerals and proteins effectively.
Besides
that, being in the sunshine means that
children
can naturally absorb vitamin D which is
an
Remove the article
apply
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essential
nutrition
Replace the word
nutrient
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for the development of bones.
By contrast
, gaming might encourage a sedentary lifestyle. Lavishing time on
this
activity is one of the causes making
children
easily suffer from obesity
Secondly
, playing outside may enhance mental health.
This
is because when staying in touch with nature,
children
's imagination seems to be stimulated by various objects or shapes and colours in diverse sizes. The outdoor environment gives young people the opportunity to develop creativity efficiently.
In addition
, they are likely to engage in direct interaction with their friends to learn social skills rather than looking at laptop screens.
This
means that
this
behaviour can lead to stronger relationships in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of playground
activities
are more significant than its disadvantages. It is recommended that
children
should be encouraged to attend more outdoor
activities
with friends to enhance their physical and mental health.
Submitted by btfemx on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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