IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion .

#people #situation #job #storage #money #situations
Every individual has a different acceptance level for their current situation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
. Some people accept the bad situations, while others fight and try to improve their condition.
This
 essay will discuss both views; from my perspective, it is always better to try and overcome these problems. On the
one
 hand, there are a plethora of reasons why an individual lives an unsatisfactory
life
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost reason can be poor financial conditions. Everyone does not belong to a wealthy family, and to sustain their lives it becomes mandatory for them to live an unsatisfactory
life
.
Secondly
, some pupils lack courage, and they are not comfortable with significant changes around them.
Consequently
, they accept several situations which they can overcome easily.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unsatisfactory
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Conversely
, there are people who are born fighters, and they fight
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to deal with the uncertainties around them. They believe in working hard and passing all the exams of their
life
 with flying
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
. Cristiano Ronaldo,
for instance
, belongs to an economically backward family, and earlier he did not have enough funds to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 himself in training clubs but he worked hard and took several part-time jobs to pay his fees.
As a result
, he is
one
 of the most popular footballers today. In my opinion, every problem has a solution, and it is always better to work on improvements rather than accepting
life
 as it is.
Furthermore
, success never comes easily and
one
 always has to work constantly to achieve his/her goals. In conclusion, it seems to me that every person faces difficulties in their
life
 but giving up is not a good option, and hard work is always appreciated and recognised.
Thus
, in order to advance in
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
, and succeed in
life
one
 should overpower all the obstacles.
Submitted by 2827.ankita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: