IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #belive #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 try and improve
such
 situations because someone can learn and get a lot of experience
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
 if you get a
worl
Correct your spelling
word
 in
unsatisfactory
Add an article
an unsatisfactory
the unsatisfactory
show examples
 job or have a shortage of
money
, I think that you will be unhappy because saying the true the
money
 is
important
Add an article
the important
an important
show examples
 thing on
this
 time. Anyone want to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in a bad situation because it is boring and
sterssfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
, someone can´t have a good time or spend the
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a special day, you always are working. I remember when a
cosuin
Correct your spelling
cousin
 that always
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 working on a bar where they didn´t
pay
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
 well so he didn´t have much
money
 and someone in the family had to pay for him and
oneday
Correct your spelling
one day
 he quit to search and improve in
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 works.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 style of life because he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a car,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 apartament and the motorcycle that my uncle gifted to him. For that
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 I prefer to improve in my life
Submitted by rocio.nm890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: