the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.

#phones #landlines #people #countries

The diagram illustrates more data about the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of mobile

phones

and

landlines

in more countries. Units are measured with the percentage Overall, the number of mobile

phones

in Italy outnumbered those

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

others

' index by a significant margin.

In contrast

, the least of the statistic belonged to Canada in mobile

phones

. The per cent of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile

phones

rises gradually while

landlines

fluctuated.

Firstly

, with regards to mobile

phones

, the show is higher almost doubled in Italy than in Canada.

In addition

, the

landlines

index of Denmark levels off with the mobile pointer of Sweden. Both are almost just above four-fifths. In terms of the

landlines

, the high rate belonged to Denmark than

others

In addition

, the least pointed out in Italy almost just under forty-two in every one hundred. Unlike

others

, the show is near to each other in Denmark,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

the

others

are different sharply

Submitted by aydin.quliyev2001 on Mon Jul 19 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

148 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is better for people to be unemployed than to be employed in jobs they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

scientists and news media are pesenting ever more evidence of climate. Government can not expect to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. give your opinion

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.