IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#cities #places #years
It is said that the city life quality has been decreasing over recent years.
Although
 the shortage of housing and traffic congestion are serious issues, I believe there are solutions that can address these problems.
One
 major problem is the shortage of housing because the number of
people
 has been increasing in
this
 century. Some negative effects are that inhabitants of cities have to pay the higher price of cost of living and the difficulty of finding accommodation.
One
 possible solution would be for the national government to enact a law to limit the number of
people
 in each city.
For example
, in 1979, the Chinese government mandated the vast majority of couples in
this
 country could only have
one
 child by the
One
-child policy, which alleviated the social, economic, and environmental problems associated with the country's rapidly growing population. Another major problem that plagues cities is traffic congestion since it causes lots of carbon dioxide while it is time-wasting for citizens during rush hours. The main cause in most cities is using cars is more popular than in the past.
For instance
, in Malaysia, most
people
 use their own personal cars due to the lack of public transportation.
One
 solution would be for municipal governments to build out the local train and subway lines so that the
people
 destinations are expanded.
This
 would not only reduce the
people
’s carbon footprint but
also
 relieves the density of vehicles on road,
thus
 reducing congestion. Even though issues with housing and traffic activity are major concerns in metropolitan areas, I think these solutions would be effective, I suggest that if citizens could collaborate with the government to tackle these problems, it will be a tremendous improvement of quality of life.
Submitted by nitchakarn.son on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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