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Band 5.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
Some
people
 believe that living in metropolitan
cities
 brings negative effects on
health
. I totally disagree with the statement due to several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in
this
 essay.
First
 of all, relocating to large
cities
 brings several benefits to one’s physical wellbeing. It is noticeable that many
health
-related facilities are located in the
city
 nowadays.
For instance
, there are a lot of fitness centres built around the
city
.
As a result
,
people
 living in
cities
 tend to exercise more frequently mainly due to convenience and easy access to fitness centres.
Moreover
, it is common for
city
 residents to arrange regular appointments with a dietitian. In fact,
this
 is usually a benefit provided by big corporates based in large
cities
. A dietitian can evaluate a
person
’s nutrition intake and generate a diet plan specially designed for the
person
. Crucially, by maintaining a healthy diet one can build a strong body.
As a result
, living in big
cities
 can result in the improvement of
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
health
 of a
person
.
Next
, mental
health
 can
also
 be maintained in a healthy state if a
person
 is living in a large
city
. Apart from easier access to psychologists compared to rural areas, metropolitan
cities
 provide a wider range of entertainment, which can reduce the stress level of a
person
.
For example
, watching movies and getting a massage are both proven to bring positive impacts to
people
’s minds. In large
cities
,
people
 can choose from various kinds of activities and relax for a bit, relieving stress and tension built up from their daily lives.
Therefore
, the mental
health
 of
people
 living in metropolitan
cities
 tends to be more stable.
Submitted by s1113338 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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