Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Since time immemorial, commencing
Correct article usage
a high-degree
show examples
high-degree
Correct your spelling
high degree
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level of education has been imagined by numerous students globally. Why do younger need to consider
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entering university immediately after their high school graduation? Some opine that by focusing their break time in getting an occupation,
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
will be beneficial. Diametrically opposed to
this
, I personally believe that by attending college, young age groups will have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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to enhance their personal potential.
First
and foremost, education experts are considered youth age 18 and above to continue their study
in
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at
show examples
Add a hyphen
university-level
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university
Correct article usage
the university
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level because it generates a multitude of benefits for their individual development.
For example
, in South-East Asia countries, most
of
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apply
show examples
public
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the public
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campuses
provides
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provide
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a myriad of activities that supports the improvement of individuals' cognitive performance.
In other words
, campus
attendies
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attendees
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge
opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
opportunity
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to develop both their soft skills and hard skills from kind of
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extracurricular
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extra curricular
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extracurricular
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schedules
such
as student body organization, business competitions, music and arts, and so forth.
Moreover
,
this
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these
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complex skills are used to prepare them in facing the real world when their study
are
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is
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finished.
On the other hand
, several communities in the world claim that professional experiences gained from the workplaces are important for the young age groups future.
This
is because not many parents have sufficient funds and have
ability
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the ability
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to afford the financial consequence resulted from the yearly college fees.
For instance
, according to the recent data, around 20% of students in one of
small
Correct article usage
the small
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island
destination
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destinations
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in South America are concerned to apply
in
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to
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the local firms straight after their graduation.
Although
they may only acquire
menial
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a menial
the menial
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, it does not matter for them, as long as they can earn some money to contribute to their family. To conclude
then
, whilst there existed contrasting stances on the matter. It is quite interesting to discuss and decide which argument is the most suitable for
current
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a current
the current
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global society.
However
, I
absoultely
Correct your spelling
absolutely
believe, higher education level is playing
indispensable
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an indispensable
the indispensable
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role for
youngster
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the youngster
a youngster
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in every state worldwide, as it
furnish
Change the verb form
furnishes
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them with
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
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programs during the course.
Submitted by andro.kartikasari on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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