Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is true that

music

is vital to

people

’s life.

Music

can narrow the gap between different religions as well as can evoke a sense of identity. Different ages will easy to get together by the common interest of

music

. Personally, I totally agree that

this

point of view for the following reasons.

Firstly

music

can eliminate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural boundaries.

People

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

different parts of the world would not be influenced by the rhythm and tune which is created by the players. It is easy for audiences to feel their emotion expressing in the

music

through the empathic rhythm.

For example

, a light and cheerful sound may represent happiness and pleasure, while a tense and stressful tube may bring oppression and over-pressure.

Furthermore

music

also

a good way to evoke

people

’s common sense of identity.

That is

normal to see that Olympic game or marathon require theme song to activate athlete sports spirits and to enhance community patriotic emotions and strengthen the cohesion, bring

people

together.

In addition

music

also

a good way to demolish the wall that separates different age groups. We always heard that the generation gap would hamper the communication between youth and old in some aspects.

However

music

as an emotional art could soft these hard differences.

That is

to say,

people

can easy to find the common interesting style of sound through listening to the different types of

music

. Because there is no rule that the young

people

belong to the rock

music

or vary loud tune compare with the old

people

. Delightful sound can bring

people

optimal moods or arouse

people

’s positive emotions regardless of the elderly

people

or adolescents in daily life.

This

light tune is remarkably activating positive feelings suppresses negative emotions and may help

people

bouncing back to previous levels of happiness. In conclusion, I believe that

music

is a significant part of human beings that nothing can beat that.

Music

is essential to us, through shrinking the distances among the different ages and blurring the different cultural barriers.

Submitted by jyo87 on Wed Jul 21 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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