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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#punishment #students #schools #decline #behaviour
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In general, most
people
 tend to view things differently about hitting
students
 as retribution in
schools
. To some
people
, they may think that it is better for the
students
 to be punished by hitting in the
schools
 in the present day because it can help them to improve behaviour. Others argue that there are other types of
punishment
 for pupils
instead
 of hitting them. In my view, I strongly believe that hitting is not a great way to teach pupils a lesson.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
 plays an important role in
schools
 because it can make
students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
obey teachers in several ways
such
 as hitting.
For example
, in my country, hitting as
punishment
 had been widely used among
schools
 especially Thai
schools
.
This
 type of
punishment
 is very popular because it can help children to remember
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 mistakes that they have done before.
Therefore
, many
students
 are afraid to do the wrong things and they usually obey the teachers when they are at the
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physically hitting
students
 are considered to be the cruellest
punishment
 for parents and societies that they suggest other kinds of
punishment
, deducting the score for the subjects or cleaning the school's toilets rather than hitting them. These punishments are able to give juniors a chance to think about the punishments that they are going to receive if they are absent from the class and act against the rules of the academy. In conclusion, it is hard to make many
people
 view things in the same way in the case of
punishment
 for
students
. Many
people
 admit that hitting is the best way to punish pupils and it should be continuously used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
.
Nevertheless
, I still assert that the
schools
 should comply with other punishments
instead
 of utilizing the same hitting method in college and
schools
.
Submitted by projectosk128 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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