The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In general, most
people
tend to view things differently about hitting
students
as retribution in
schools
. To some
people
, they may think that it is better for the
students
to be punished by hitting in the
schools
in the present day because it can help them to improve behaviour. Others argue that there are other types of
punishment
for pupils
instead
of hitting them. In my view, I strongly believe that hitting is not a great way to teach pupils a lesson.
To begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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punishment
plays an important role in
schools
because it can make
students
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to obey should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

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obey teachers in several ways
such
as hitting.
For example
, in my country, hitting as
punishment
had been widely used among
schools
especially Thai
schools
.
This
type of
punishment
is very popular because it can help children to remember
their
Change the word
the

The word their may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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mistakes that they have done before.
Therefore
, many
students
are afraid to do the wrong things and they usually obey the teachers when they are at the
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school

It seems that schools may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
physically hitting
students
are considered to be the cruellest
punishment
for parents and societies that they suggest other kinds of
punishment
, deducting the score for the subjects or cleaning the school's toilets rather than hitting them. These punishments are able to give juniors a chance to think about the punishments that they are going to receive if they are absent from the class and act against the rules of the academy. In conclusion, it is hard to make many
people
view things in the same way in the case of
punishment
for
students
. Many
people
admit that hitting is the best way to punish pupils and it should be continuously used in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
schools
.
Nevertheless
, I still assert that the
schools
should comply with other punishments
instead
of utilizing the same hitting method in college and
schools
.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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