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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In general, most
people
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 tend to view things differently about hitting
students
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 as retribution in
schools
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. To some
people
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, they may think that it is better for the
students
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 to be punished by hitting in the
schools
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 in the present day because it can help them to improve behaviour. Others argue that there are other types of
punishment
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 for pupils
instead
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 of hitting them. In my view, I strongly believe that hitting is not a great way to teach pupils a lesson.
To begin
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 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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punishment
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 plays an important role in
schools
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 because it can make
students
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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obey teachers in several ways
such
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 as hitting.
For example
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, in my country, hitting as
punishment
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 had been widely used among
schools
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 especially Thai
schools
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.
This
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 type of
punishment
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 is very popular because it can help children to remember
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 mistakes that they have done before.
Therefore
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, many
students
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 are afraid to do the wrong things and they usually obey the teachers when they are at the
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physically hitting
students
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 are considered to be the cruellest
punishment
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 for parents and societies that they suggest other kinds of
punishment
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, deducting the score for the subjects or cleaning the school's toilets rather than hitting them. These punishments are able to give juniors a chance to think about the punishments that they are going to receive if they are absent from the class and act against the rules of the academy. In conclusion, it is hard to make many
people
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 view things in the same way in the case of
punishment
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 for
students
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. Many
people
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 admit that hitting is the best way to punish pupils and it should be continuously used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
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.
Nevertheless
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, I still assert that the
schools
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 should comply with other punishments
instead
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 of utilizing the same hitting method in college and
schools
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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