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Writing Samples
Band 5

As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it's no longer mere science fiction.

In general, most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to view things differently about cloning
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 for acquiring human spare parts. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it cannot be real because it is illegal and immoral to clone
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. But, I partially agree that the story of cloning could be
a
Change the article
apply
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true in some underground labs where several doctors are operating with cloning
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. For
this
Linking Words
 case, I suppose that spare parts from cloning can help
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to live longer.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spare
organs
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 are essential for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 nowadays because these can help many
people
Use synonyms
 to stay longer with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could be.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who had an accident would not be able to survive if some vital
organs
Use synonyms
 like
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
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 and
lung
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lungs
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 were damaged.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the implanted
organs
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 from the labs or hospitals could be utilized and replaced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 damaged
organs
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.
This
Linking Words
 can considerably save a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 life.
However
Linking Words
, cloning
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 is still considered by
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to be unethical
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to receive spare
organs
Use synonyms
 as well. In the cloning experiment, most of
subjects
Add an article
the subjects
show examples
 that are cloned still have their own life as normal
people
Use synonyms
. But, if we want to take their vital
organs
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, the subjects will have to be killed
first
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 reason can make
people
Use synonyms
 think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cloning can be the most horrible story for them. In conclusion, it is hard to make several
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
view things in the same way in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of cloning
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 for getting spare
organs
Use synonyms
. In my view, I still assert that cloning is the authentic story in some places. I would think that in the future we will have sophisticated technology which can replace cloning.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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