IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people can eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #variety #food #areas #regions #trend
We are eyewitnesses to
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
show examples
 variety of exotic
food
 in our lives
as a result
 of globalisation.
Moreover
, it is common for people in some
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 to have a higher proportion of foreign meals than domestic ones.From my perspective,
although
 some people can benefit from
this
 scenario, the disadvantages are dominant. There is no denying that surging demand for foreign cuisine raises
revenue
Correct article usage
the revenue
show examples
 of international companies involved in the
food
 industry.
Furthermore
, with
additonal
Correct your spelling
additional
 income, it may encourage
food
 producers to set up factories or promote
establishment
Add an article
the establishment
show examples
 of new restaurants in other countries, which may raise employment in the host country.
However
, it is
also
 true that some
food
symbolise
Change the verb form
symbolises
show examples
 more dominant cultures compared to domestic ones.So they are regarded as more valuable and have greater general acceptability , resulting in people paying less attention to local cuisine. With reduced popularity,
revenue
Add an article
the revenue
show examples
 of local
food
 sellers who focus on
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 cuisine of the home countries may plunge and be driven out of the business eventually.
Therefore
, it
deterioates
Correct your spelling
deteriorates
 the preservation of local culture as
food
 is a significant part of national identity.
In addition
, some of the ingredients of foreign
food
 may need to be imported over long distances owing to the strict restriction on the
porduction
Correct your spelling
production
 process
such
 as location and weather, which reduces the freshness and quality of the final product.
Besides
, in
such
 cases, the whole
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 process may not be under full supervision due to the length of the route.So there are high chances that those ingredients carry
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hazardous pathogens and spread epidemic diseases, especially for the time being. To sum up,
although
this
 trend may bring economic growth or raise employment, it can work out to be the exact opposite for
domestic
Correct article usage
the domestic
show examples
food
 industry and spread diseases.
Submitted by linqunxiong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: