Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of
children
can not be
Add an article
the emphasis
an emphasis

The noun phrase emphasis seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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emphasis
Replace the word
emphasised

The word emphasis doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Parents are the
first
contact point to
children
,
therefore
the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of
children
should take place
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a younger
age
. It is of no doubt that the training of
children
begins from
home
,
therefore
each
attributes
Change to a singular noun
attribute

The singular quantifier each is followed by the plural noun attributes. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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of a
child
shown must be put into consideration and realized in time for proper training.
Firstly
, it is very important that the guidance of
younger
Correct article usage
a younger

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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infant at an early stage would put the
child
at lesser risk of hazards and created good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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as the infant begins to grow into
Add an article
an adolescent

The noun phrase adolescent seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence

The word adolescent doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Secondly
,
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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proper control
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in habits
Correct your spelling
inhabits

The word in habits seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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at
early
Add an article
an early

The noun phrase early age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age
,
thus
help in the mental
develop
Replace the word
development

The word develop doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of the young
child
,
therefore
impacting more and effective knowledge to them.
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Likewise. Consider adding a comma.

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with proper
home
training from
parents
Add a comma
,parents

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase with proper home training from parents. Consider adding a comma.

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children
learn faster and can differentiate the good from the bad attitudes.
Thirdly
, with adequate
home
training from their guidance, there will be respect and presentation outside the
home
will be appropriate with
a good knowledge
Remove the article
good knowledge
a piece of good knowledge

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun knowledge in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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and understanding.
Furthermore
, it is worthy to note that freedom from parents in growing up is not totally out of place because
this
would great
a bound
Correct your spelling
abound

The word a bound seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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between the guidance and the
children
, in spite of
this
the younger
age
would be free to express their
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence

The spelling of self-defense is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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excess freedom given at
early
Correct article usage
an early

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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stage of
age
possess the
child
to unwanted
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and as well cause so much damage as the
child
grows into adolescent
age
. In conclusion, you will agree with me that
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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is
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word habit.

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habit that can not be hidden,
therefore
there should be an extent of freedom that should be given to the younger
age
group for proper
Correct your spelling
upbringing

The word up bringing seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing

The word up bringing seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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