IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Ohter argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #ohter #situations
Well, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
,case
show examples
 I have to say that for me is an obvious answer or opinion, but if I have to take out good things about
conform
Change the verb form
conforming
show examples
 with a bad
situation
, I could say that it makes things easy or quieter, because in
this
situation
 you only live knowing that
this
 is your
life
 and while you feel comfortable knowing
this
, well is easy to carry on in your
life
.
On the other hand
, we have another
situation
, and
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my point of view, the correct one, because despite the effort you must make
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 change your
life
, always is better than just conform with all around you, so in
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
 you may have to do
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many things in your
life
 in each context, for change in a good
way
 your
life
. And obviously is a difficult
way
 of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
, but you have to be selfish sometimes and think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 your future, and you know,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end everything is fine.
For example
, if you have a job that you know that
don´t
Change the verb form
doesn´t
show examples
 pay in an equivalent
way
 for your effort but you can have a regular
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 (
besides
 the work) for you, you can make a choice,
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 you would conform your self with that, or make a 360° change in your
life
 and quite (in its own time) that job, and
then
 you can search for another or
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 a freelancer, there are options but the only one that can choose one of them is yourself, it wouldn´t be easy, but it would be the only
way
 for
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 your
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Finally
, in my case is not an option, try to improve my
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 is the only
way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 self, and I think there’s no other option is because if you are a conformist person, you won´t be happy at the end of your
life
.
Submitted by rocio.nm890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: