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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

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In
school
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 and the
work
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, some
people
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 put in more effort than others. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
reason
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 of some
people
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work
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 harder than others, and I will give my own opinion.
Firstly
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, I will give the
reason
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 for
people
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's hard-working, and
secondly
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, I will discuss it is good to
work
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 hard or no.
To begin
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 with,
People
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 are not all born equal.
Consequently
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, somebody born in a low-income family, and someone born in a rich family.
Also
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, disadvantaged children have to study much harder than privileged children to earn the same education.
For example
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, Ivanka Trump was able to study at the Wharton
School
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 of Finance without the usual academic qualifications because her father is rich and famous.
However
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, if kids from low-income families want to get into that same college, they have to study extremely hard to meet the scholarship standards because there is no way their parents could afford
such
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 an expensive private
school
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe that it is important to give your 100% effort to
work
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 and
school
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, the
reason
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 is not just for financial gain, but
also
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 to develop your personality and understanding.
Furthermore
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, in general,
people
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work
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 harder not only for themself
also
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 for their loved ones.
For example
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, if a person works hard on a task, they will have a chance of going new knowledge.
Moreover
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, if they are hard workers at
work
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, they can get their kids' good educations and buy bigger houses for their families. In conclusion, disparities in education and employment are the main
reason
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 why some
people
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 have to
work
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 harder in these two sectors than others.
However
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,
this
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 is not always a good thing because it can cause regrets later in life.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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