IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some feel governments, rather than private companies, should be in charge of medical services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #companies #charge #services
Basically, medical
services
 should be essential, which the
government
 gives to its citizens because it has acquired a lot of
money
 for them rather than private companies. I personally agree with
this
 statement. To start off with, the
government
 has earned
money
 from taxes, which its people have to pay every year;
therefore
, they should get highly medical
services
 from it, that many people who might be poor cannot spend their
money
 on treatment which is substantial expensive.
For example
, generally, the poor earn 300 baths per day, that it is derived to three sample groups is 100 baths per group for foods, bills and others respectively,
this
 is apparent that they have not got
money
 for spending with others, so the
government
 should give the medical
services
 for free.
Furthermore
, it should develop its machine to be more effective
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and should allocate its
money
 because, these days, so it always avoids
this
 problem that it remains to spend
money
 with other facets.
Although
 some private hospitals have more highly technological treatment for patients, they need not do these
services
 for free because they are an individual who has to pay taxes, and they have invested and built their hospitals by themselves so that
such
services
 is not a role for private companies.
However
, they can support the
government
 about a machine to treat patients. To conclude, I strongly agree with
this
 statement because
this
 problem should be solved by the
government
, it should be more careful about its people.
Submitted by nutt.spider on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human right
  • equitable access
  • government-run healthcare
  • economies of scale
  • negotiate
  • healthcare costs
  • profit motives
  • compromised healthcare
  • health inequities
  • accountable
  • public health objectives
  • reinvest
  • infrastructure
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