IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some feel governments, rather than private companies, should be in charge of medical services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #companies #charge #services
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Basically, medical
services
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 should be essential, which the
government
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 gives to its citizens because it has acquired a lot of
money
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 for them rather than private companies. I personally agree with
this
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 statement. To start off with, the
government
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 has earned
money
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 from taxes, which its people have to pay every year;
therefore
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, they should get highly medical
services
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 from it, that many people who might be poor cannot spend their
money
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 on treatment which is substantial expensive.
For example
Linking Words
, generally, the poor earn 300 baths per day, that it is derived to three sample groups is 100 baths per group for foods, bills and others respectively,
this
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 is apparent that they have not got
money
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 for spending with others, so the
government
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 should give the medical
services
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 for free.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it should develop its machine to be more effective
,
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apply
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 and should allocate its
money
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 because, these days, so it always avoids
this
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 problem that it remains to spend
money
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 with other facets.
Although
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 some private hospitals have more highly technological treatment for patients, they need not do these
services
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 for free because they are an individual who has to pay taxes, and they have invested and built their hospitals by themselves so that
such
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services
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 is not a role for private companies.
However
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, they can support the
government
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 about a machine to treat patients. To conclude, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
this
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 problem should be solved by the
government
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, it should be more careful about its people.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human right
  • equitable access
  • government-run healthcare
  • economies of scale
  • negotiate
  • healthcare costs
  • profit motives
  • compromised healthcare
  • health inequities
  • accountable
  • public health objectives
  • reinvest
  • infrastructure
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