IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

#places #world #tourism #source #income
There are many places, which generate revenue only from
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
industry
 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 sightseeing, unique developments or
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own history. It’s the big responsibility of locals and
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 to manage
this
 well
otherwise
 there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge cost to bear. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing its positive as well as negative impacts & how to make these benefits sustainable. On one hand , touristry gives the local residents an opportunity to showcase their culture & to promote it to the nation or even global level. For, instance the Sapera Dance, a famous dance form from Rajasthan has been given
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
international recognition and
this
 could happen because of the tourism and its proper showcasing. With the increase in people coming to visit a place, it gives a push to the hotel business and travel agencies, food
industry
, so it
also
 generates employment, entrepreneurship.
On the other hand
, touristry is nothing but the commercialisation of beauty, which has its own cost if not managed well.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 main disadvantage is the increase in pollution which deteriorate the air quality. In absence of stringent rules & regulations with heavy penalties, people coming to visit the place may harm or damage the local properties. To promote the
industry
, there will be urbanisation i.e cutting down the trees etc. because of which it
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 its charm in long run. To sum up,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of the tourism
industry
 are undeniable,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are negative impacts
also
 which cannot be ignored. In my perspective,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rigid laws in force will definitely help to maintain
this
 sustainable source of revenue for the economy.
Submitted by nagpalbharti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: