IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the more product is advertised, the more people will buy it.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #product
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Some people say that the more of a
product
Use synonyms
 is advertised, the more people will buy it. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and the relevant reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The
first
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 and foremost reason is the influential component of the advertisement in distinct
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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 like
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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, Radio, Television persuade a consumer to purchase the particular
product
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.
Many a times
Correct the article-noun agreement
Many times
Many a time
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, it is observed that the individuals consume that
product
Use synonyms
 by
astraying
Correct your spelling
straying
staying
 their way irrespective of knowing the ramification of the
product
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 on them.
Moreover
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, consumers usually consume that
product
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 if they are known one like a friend or a family member has acquired it. Sometimes it is noticed that they acquire the
product
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 not to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the necessity but to show
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
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 the Status Symbol in the society
for example
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 newly launched Apple phones. According to
a
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apply
show examples
research published by Columbia University, it was revealed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
80 %
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 consume the
product
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 as they are influenced by the extravagant marketing of the products.
On the other hand
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,
modern
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the modern
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 consumer is cognizant. He
persuade
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persuades
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 to take the decision by keeping all the merits, demerits and after use impact .
In addition
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 to
this
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, the aspect of necessity is taken into consideration prior to
consume
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consuming
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 the
product
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. If a consumer
perceive
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perceives
show examples
 that they are not in need
then
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 they do not wish to purchase it.
Moreover
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 many
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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times it is believed that consumers do not consume the
product
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 to which they are not financially capable. The emphasis is on the
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 of essential necessities not to persuade the things which are beyond the financial status. To conclude the advertisement in
digital
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the digital
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 era plays an indispensable role in
comprehensive
Correct article usage
the comprehensive
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 growth of the company.Marketing mainly depends on the person to person.The buying of the
product
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 should be done by keeping in mind the after use impact and budget but not in the influence of the marketing. Government must
also
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 restrict the marketing of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies which displays false messages in their advertisements.
Submitted by Naina  on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • durability
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • affordability
  • customer loyalty
  • mass production
  • market share
  • financial savings
  • resource conservation
  • circular economy
  • economic activity
  • brand reputation
  • value for money
  • initial investment
  • job creation
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